Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose.
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
This book was written in those long hours I spent waiting for my wife to get dressed to go out. And if she had never gotten dressed at all this book would never have been written.
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.