Sir, are you trying to offer me a bribe? How much
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's.
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
Jail is no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.