The difference between a politician and a snail is that the snail leaves its slime behind. Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.

Home is where you hang your head.

Many years ago I chased a woman for almost two years, only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: we both were crazy about girls.

You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?

I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.

You're only as young as the woman you feel.