I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

It isn't so much that hard times are coming; the change observed is mostly soft times going.

Since my daughter is only half-Jewish, could she go in the water up to her knees?

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong.