The foods that are recommended today are as palatable as a steady diet of wet blotters.

I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

Growing old is something you do if you're lucky.

It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!

Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed.

Time wounds all heels.