When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.

Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.

Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it - I hear they're going to tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead.

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Hey you! I told you to slow that nag down! Because of you, I almost heard the opera!