When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.

With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon.

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.

I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.

All geniuses die young.

This would be a better place for children if parents had to eat spinach.

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.