Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

Africa is God's country, and He can have it.

There's a man outside with a big black mustache. - Tell him I've got one.

My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs

Bel Air, I am convinced, was laid out by some diabolic sadist who deliberately decided not to use a compass or a surveyor.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.