Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

I don't want to join the kind of a club that accepts people like me as members.

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.