Room service? Send up a larger room.

I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

With a little study you'll go a long ways, and I wish you'd start now

I write by ear. I tried writing with the typewriter, but I found it too unwieldy

[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"

Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I’m glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.