Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life

As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.

Firefly: Where is your husband? Mrs. Teasdale: Why, he's dead. Firefly: I'll bet he's just using that as an excuse. Mrs. Teasdale: I was with him to the very end. Firefly: Hmmph. No wonder he passed away. Mrs. Teasdale: I held him in my arms and kissed him. Firefly: Oh I see. Then, it was murder.

Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!

Time wounds all heels.

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the worst about Hollywood

Only if the computers really love each other.