Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life

As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.

One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!

And stop pointing that beard at me, it might go off!

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made.

I was born at a very early age. Before I had time to regret it, I was four and a half years old.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.