I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.