It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.

Send two dozen roses to Room 424 and put "Emily, I love you" on the back of the bill.

Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America. Now he's unknown throughout the world.

Room service? Send up a larger room.

I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are.

I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.