You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
In high school football, the coach kept me on the bench all year. On the last game of the season, the crowd was yelling, We want Youngman! We want Youngman! The coach says, Youngman - go see what they want!
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.