When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"

"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"