I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

This man dresses like an unmade bed.

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time?