I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.

There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.

I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.