Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
He doesn't get ulcers - he gives them.
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing.
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.