A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?

Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."

The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.