A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?

On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.