Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."

My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.

There is no spark like the one ignited under the aspirations of a new graduate.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

Old teachers never die, they just grade away.