The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did
On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.