That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.

My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".

I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"