A man calls a lawyer's office. The phone is answered, Schwartz, Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz. The man says, Let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. I'm sorry, he's on vacation. Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. He's on a big case, not available for a week. Then let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. He's playing golf today. Okay, then, let me talk to Mr. Schwartz. Speaking.

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

We aim to please... You aim too, please.

I think the world of you...and you know what condition the world is in today.

Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.

We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.

A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.