A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini!
Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.