When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."

"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.

Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."