A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner.
A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!"