A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.