My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

What is a home without children? Quiet.

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.

I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.

There is no spark like the one ignited under the aspirations of a new graduate.