My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.

Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.

There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".

My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.

Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"