His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"
I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.
The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.