I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.

A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.