I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.

I live about four muggings from Central Park.

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.

I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.

We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.

I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?