When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"
If, as the scientist say, sex is such a driving force, why is so much of it nowadays found parked?