A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.

I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.

Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.

The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!