Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!"
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.