Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?