Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."

The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"

I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

A little man is running a jewelry store. A man runs in saying, Okay, take my watch, put on a new band, install a new battery, clean the case, install a new crystal, and tune it up. I will be back in a half hour for it. Thanks! and runs out the door. The little jeweler says, C-C-C-Come in?