A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.