My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.

While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.

I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.