My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.

"What's the latest dope on Wall Street?" "My son!"

My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!

Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"

Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.

I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood.