My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.

Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.

The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"

My wife has a black belt in shopping.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

I miss my wife's cooking - as often as I can.