Let's get up here before we get killed!
I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.
Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.