We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.

There is no spark like the one ignited under the aspirations of a new graduate.

I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, "Let's get up here before we get killed!"

I think the world of you...and you know what condition the world is in today.

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"

"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"

The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!