When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.
I've got two wonderful children - and two out of five isn't too bad.
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!"
During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.