What is a home without children? Quiet.
Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.