I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.

I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.

I think the world of you...and you know what condition the world is in today.

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.

He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.