Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."
Henny YoungmanAmericans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny YoungmanMy wife is the sweetest, most tolerant, most beautiful woman in the world. This is a paid political announcement.
Henny YoungmanI told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Henny Youngman