2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"

I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.

If I had blood, I'd blush.

The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!

The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.