I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.

He doesn't get ulcers - he gives them.

I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, "Which way do I go?" But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.