I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.

A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!

A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.