I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.

I live about four muggings from Central Park.

Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, 'I hope it doesn't rain today. I hate it when the children play inside.

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.