I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?

Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"

You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."