I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?

Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.

Two kangaroos were talking to each other, and one said, 'I hope it doesn't rain today. I hate it when the children play inside.

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.

A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.

Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.

My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".