My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.

He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.

How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.

I think the world of you...and you know what condition the world is in today.

I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'

I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.