I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
Henny YoungmanA doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"
Henny YoungmanA Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No" says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
Henny Youngman