While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
This man dresses like an unmade bed.
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
In high school football, the coach kept me on the bench all year. On the last game of the season, the crowd was yelling, We want Youngman! We want Youngman! The coach says, Youngman - go see what they want!
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can't wait to exchange.