The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

A little man is running a jewelry store. A man runs in saying, Okay, take my watch, put on a new band, install a new battery, clean the case, install a new crystal, and tune it up. I will be back in a half hour for it. Thanks! and runs out the door. The little jeweler says, C-C-C-Come in?

I live about four muggings from Central Park.

I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"

Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it.