The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.

The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner.

When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."

A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?

2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."

If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.