The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

A little Jewish Grandma is at the Florida coast with her little Jewish Grandson. The grandson is playing on the beach when a big wave comes and washes the kid out to sea. The lifeguards swim out, bring him back to shore, the paramedics work on him for a long time, pumping the water out, reviving him. They turn to the Jewish Grandma, and say, we saved your grandson. The little Jewish Grandma says, He had a hat!

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"

My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.

I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.

I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.