How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini!
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.