Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing.

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

A little man is running a jewelry store. A man runs in saying, Okay, take my watch, put on a new band, install a new battery, clean the case, install a new crystal, and tune it up. I will be back in a half hour for it. Thanks! and runs out the door. The little jeweler says, C-C-C-Come in?

A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!