Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!

Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."

If, as the scientist say, sex is such a driving force, why is so much of it nowadays found parked?

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living."