My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

I bought my wife a little Italian car. A Mafia. It has a hood under the hood.

This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.