My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'

A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?

All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.