My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.