Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did

A man goes to a barbershop and asks, How many ahead of me? Five. The man leaves. He comes back the next day and asks, How many ahead of me? Four. The man leaves. He comes back the next day and asks, How many ahead of me? Six. The man leaves, and the barber says to another, Follow that man! The man comes back and says, He goes to your house!

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.

Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.

Have you seen the new Polish jigsaw puzzle? One piece.

A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!