This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.

The hitter asks the owner to give him a big raise so he can go somewhere he's never been, and the owner says "You mean third base?"

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.

Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?