You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini!
His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.
I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.
I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."