When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, "Let's get up here before we get killed!"
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.