I've got two wonderful children - and two out of five isn't too bad.

Farrah's dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!

She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"