When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.
A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.