How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'

How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."