My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.
My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
I said to my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' She said, 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.