How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O

Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"

My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"

When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."

I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, "Which way do I go?" But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.