A tough guy told me, "I'll bet you $10 you're dead." I was afraid to bet him.
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
A man goes to a psychiatrist. "Nobody listens to me!" The doctor says, "Next!"
I've got enough money to last the rest of my life ... as long as I die about four o'clock this afternoon.