A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!"

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!".

I just made a killing in the stock market -- I shot my broker.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'

A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other ear?" "Had to call the doctor!"

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.