I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

Farrah's dressing room was next to mine. There was a little hole in the wall. I let her look.

I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.

She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.

Doctor says to a man, "You're pregnant!" The man says, "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says, "The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner...."

I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, "Let's get up here before we get killed!"