I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.

If, as the scientist say, sex is such a driving force, why is so much of it nowadays found parked?

I think the world of you...and you know what condition the world is in today.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!

A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"