Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Old teachers never die, they just grade away.
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.