A little Jewish Grandma is at the Florida coast with her little Jewish Grandson. The grandson is playing on the beach when a big wave comes and washes the kid out to sea. The lifeguards swim out, bring him back to shore, the paramedics work on him for a long time, pumping the water out, reviving him. They turn to the Jewish Grandma, and say, we saved your grandson. The little Jewish Grandma says, He had a hat!

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.

I miss my wife's cooking - as often as I can.

Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.